Egregious

"I'm sorry Teddy," Jon said, sobbing. "Your existence is no longer a secret, so I'm sending you away. It's for your own safety."

"But why?" Teddy pleaded.

"Teddy, you know that someone has already broken in and stolen my Sugababes CDs and, ahem, 'grown-up' films, I'm worried they might come after you next. I'm afraid I let it slip that you really exist."

"And how did you manage to do that exactly?"

"Well, as we were driving to the race on Sunday I made the egregious error of telling my running buddies that I had to sleep with the light on after seeing Paranormal Activity. When they jokingly asked about you I said that cuddling up next to you was the only thing that got me to sleep in the end."

"Oh dear. I would have thought you'd have learnt not to see scary movies after you got thrown out of the cinema for staining the seat and stinking out the cinema while watching the Blair Witch Project.."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"And what about the time I found you crying in the front room because an episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer had frightened you so much? There were tissues everywhere."

"Actually, Teddy, those were happy tissues."

"Eh?"

At that point there was a knock at the door. Jon's glamorous Italian lodger, Elena, was in the hallway, proffering pizza.

"Hello Jon. I brought some pizza back from the restaurant. Would you like?"

"Oh, yes please."

"And would your friend like some as well?"

"My friend?"

"Yes I heard voices."

"Oh, no I had the radio on," Jon said, helping himself to a large slice. "There's no one else here. I was just tidying my room."

"You lying fat b*st*rd. No wonder you couldn't get a decent time at Downton."

"Oh do be quiet Teddy!" Jon bellowed.

"I think, I go now." Elena said. And with that she turned and fleed from the house.